Meet Martin Riese, water sommelier 
You read that correctly. L.A.’s Patina Group of Restaurants has its own water expert, who takes his clear beverages as seriously as wine enthusiasts take their own drink of choice.
For just a hint of how straight-faced Riese is about something that, admittedly, seems a bit ridiculous:

He pours a glass of Fiji water and swirls it like a glass of wine. He then takes a sip, puckers his lips and chews on the water for a bit before swallowing. He then pours a glass of Voss water and follows the same tasting procedure. 
"Fiji is more in the smooth area and very light when I’m tasting it," said Riese. "Voss has more of a bitter taste to it. Right away I’m getting it on my palate when I drink the Voss. But Fiji, I don’t have that."  

And don’t even try to offer him standard-issue H2O:

"Smell this tap water. It smells like chlorine," said Riese with a look of disgust. "As a restaurant person here in L.A., I can say I would never drink that water. When you have good food, good wine and good spirits, you don’t want to contaminate that with this water."

Read more, including why a single bottle of water can cost $20, over at the Daily Dish.
Photo: Jenn Harris / Los Angeles Times

Meet Martin Riese, water sommelier

You read that correctly. L.A.’s Patina Group of Restaurants has its own water expert, who takes his clear beverages as seriously as wine enthusiasts take their own drink of choice.

For just a hint of how straight-faced Riese is about something that, admittedly, seems a bit ridiculous:

He pours a glass of Fiji water and swirls it like a glass of wine. He then takes a sip, puckers his lips and chews on the water for a bit before swallowing. He then pours a glass of Voss water and follows the same tasting procedure. 

"Fiji is more in the smooth area and very light when I’m tasting it," said Riese. "Voss has more of a bitter taste to it. Right away I’m getting it on my palate when I drink the Voss. But Fiji, I don’t have that."  

And don’t even try to offer him standard-issue H2O:

"Smell this tap water. It smells like chlorine," said Riese with a look of disgust. "As a restaurant person here in L.A., I can say I would never drink that water. When you have good food, good wine and good spirits, you don’t want to contaminate that with this water."

Read more, including why a single bottle of water can cost $20, over at the Daily Dish.

Photo: Jenn Harris / Los Angeles Times

  1. pehrspace reblogged this from latimes
  2. deliverusfromevans reblogged this from discountliquor and added:
    The Patina Group is kind of the worst. José Andrés's restaurant Bazaar has a two page water menu, too. It's gross.
  3. exapamicron reblogged this from latimes
  4. thelittlestred reblogged this from bookwormbreakfast
  5. bookwormbreakfast reblogged this from latimes and added:
    I admire this man for finding new and inspiring ways that we can all be elitist dickbags at restaurants.
  6. sylviaschow reblogged this from latimes
  7. meeshxoxo reblogged this from latimes
  8. inmyheadinmymind reblogged this from latimes
  9. picklejesus reblogged this from discountliquor and added:
    HOW DOES THIS GUY SHOWER? Does he just wipe himself down with rubbing alcohol?
  10. kyngmag reblogged this from latimes
  11. discountliquor reblogged this from latimes
  12. earlyadaptor reblogged this from latimes
  13. expectdelay reblogged this from latimes and added:
    As someone who grew up with Southern California’s borderline unpotable tap water, this doesn’t surprise me
  14. ickychick reblogged this from latimes and added:
    I need to be this
  15. made-of-nguyen reblogged this from latimes
  16. catmansmuckers reblogged this from latimes and added:
    NO.
  17. introvertedloudmouth reblogged this from everydaygenius and added:
    This was a segment on Penn and Teller’s Bullshit. //youtu.be/MHx6BX3HZJc
  18. yooo-cueee reblogged this from latimes
  19. withoutidentity reblogged this from latimes and added:
    What? Okay. Sure… And it’s at the LACMA of all places. Makes sense.
  20. pithypeach reblogged this from latimes
  21. ohcamil reblogged this from latimes and added:
    This is the grossest thing I’ve read in quite some time. Seriously, the only thing sicker than this man is the world...
  22. radical-human reblogged this from latimes and added:
    i hate america
  23. digitalbin reblogged this from latimes